Hope(s)

couldnt resist to shown my happiness of heading back home.

even many times.. i told myself, not to much hoping the condition will get better.

but still, i'm still doing it .. hope i will not get hurt, too deep....

Welcome to the World

... to 5 small puppies of Xena!!!
i was reading my vampire's novel, when the maid shouted my name-
hurried down the stair, wondering what's happening at that moment?! Oh, yeah- it must be her!
peaking through the glass door, unable to get through it çause she was so fierce to anyone get near her ... guess, its a mom's proactive feeling ..

one small puppy lying there, not moving and still inside the 'bag' .. poor him! kept telling her to bite & lick him, but seems desperatly nooded to understand it.
bare myself, to open the door - and get near to the poor puppy- .. he's moving! he's trying to breathe ..
quickly, grab chopstick- i'm bit yaiks w/ new born puppy- then i brave myself cut the bag to allow some air for him to breathe.. i did it!
but he still doesnt move that much, as i expected to be. Even his mom wont come near him & comfort him ..

there was another one, near her- so guess it was the 2nd one .. 'til the 3rd, and 4th and 5th one followed to taste the world- YUP, got 5 in hands ...
everyone so nervous, also excited too-

congrats, xena- the adventure just began! ..

Sad Dream

sunny bright day, when i decided to take my small white dog to ride. before i left, i make a good bye to my brother- which is strange, me & my brother lives on the other part of the world - .. i put my precious dog, on the basket in front. But sometimes, i felt that it's not a dog, it's a cat - but, i hate cat - ... when i touch him, to comfort him, to seat nicely inside the basket - it is a dog!

we keep riding, passing stores, bakery, and some old building - seems like i'm strolling street at France (it was small street, some alley with cute little shops) ..

rain comes so fast, without any notice - and i decided to hurry back, but seems that street i've been passing through like a circle - 'til i got to this section, where its deadly traffic jam.

I keep riding, and passing some cars .. to get my way as fast as i can - i even annoy some trees leaves stroke me & my bike several times.

i saw him get wet, and scrolling inside the basket. poor him - i said 'will get back home, soon'

'til the time, i decided to stop by under big tree & leave my bike & take him on my chest- to give him warmth ... he's moving his head under my arm, to hide from the rain drops.

he wasnt that wet, but stiff - i called his name, but no reaction - he's stiff as a corpse (of course, i never touch a corpse bfore) .. i started to cried, it was all my fault! ..

i saw other dog, near there - thinking of giving him closer to that dog, might that when the dog lick him, will wake him up. But also i think, the doctor was just few minutes from where i stand-

i couldn't decided until i woke up with tears - and saw the clock that i'm late for work!

words for today

" I dont think I could love enought to give up what I am.

I'd need to be loved enough to be accepted for what I am "

Dog Show

yup, this is the first time of dog show- ever held in Vietnam, refer to a person, who lives here for several years. Kinda excited to come and see the show, since never been held before. Questions pops up, wondering what kind of show are they talking about, what kind of dogs are they showing, etc.

U know the international dog show, in the television?! they got many categories, and many skills to show. Not sure about this one- better not to give high expectation "as we always say" ...

The banner looks quite impressive, after all ...

show start at 9am, but turn out that even the judges only comes at 9.30am .. so, u know what happened the rest --> show start at 10am. Good for us, so we can finish our breakfast before getting excited wondering around to see dogs!!

have u ever sit on a bar, and the dogs will join you? well, in here you do. Place is full of people & dogs, so the only place available is at the bar. That's where people gathered along to watch the show. Quite cool place, you sit and your favourite dog can stay at the bar table. Cudling around with the others.
more people coming late, more crowded the bar is - full with dogs, laying down.. he3x...

there are two "kribo"head as the MC of the show - they make sound like dogs, too. One of them, which is a guy- pretending to be a puddle. White puddle with black dots at the cheek. Quite fail as a dog look. More over, he doesn't act funny at all-

Competition turns out not for certain kind of dogs- they're free to bring whatever dogs they have (i guess this is bcause 1st time show held, hope next time is better). Like the pictures shown here, one bring huge scary dog (in fact, he's really calm & sleepy) & opposite looks like miniature of cihuahahahahhaa....

As seen in here, this black rotweiler dog seems so exhausted with the surrounding, he didnt even care people walking around & take snaps on him.

Guess, dogs loves papparazi too ...

Most of the contestant are bringing the cihuahua- since houses in vietnam are small & crowded. Of course they're some with big houses, and that would be the one with big dog!
I just found out that there're 2 kinds of cihuahua, with or without furry. New news!
They even got really miniature, cause it size is really small-sort of the size of your palms. Really!

As you can see in the photo up there - the girl is holding her smallest dog .. it looks fragile for me...

U'll find the dalmation, too - this time is the pirates make up. He wears pants with skeleton picture on the butt, and got the eye's blackened in one side. So cute & so pirates!
Got spaniel kind with spanish look, too- Big red flower on each of her ears - she even wears make up. Glittering green eye shadows. This one bring lots of applause from audience....

Shows included with some attraction from dogs, such as jumping on the loop - dancing doog, and some 'circus' stuff- Ended with the announce of winner, which we decided to leave bfore it was done.

This is how the place was held for the show - yup, this is the exterior look .. quite pretty, right? Vietnam -u'll find the best place to hang outside, facing crowded street -

They make their cafe look interesting on the outside & inside, too. But sometimes, its too much color & decoration inside, & most of the place are full with loud music, even morning time.

Such a strange habit!

Well, enough show for this sunday morning. After all,we need to go on with our trip - LUNCH TIME!!!!

SaTurdAy 31 MaRcH 2007

today is Saturday, and i'm still stuck in Vietnam - for doing this crazy job arrangement.
and it's so boring - with job, and even my bf .. too busy with hang out to meet customers-
these issue gonna break the close relationship, if still going on and on ..
it's true, isn't it guys? .. no matter, how can u understand - if u never really have time for family, how can make things work?
we do have our things to take care & to achieve too - but never forget the others, especially family (if you really want to have one)
all i want to do is just like everyone, normally does - is it too much to ask? .. maybe it is, cause until now its still under BIG QUESTION MARK!!!

start better days for each day -
today he called me & we discuss, just like what i expected to be.
Grown ups talked!!

so much fun to be in this way - even the heavy burden still hanging on top of my head! S--T

Messed Up

its been few days i'm feeling down - for some reason that i dont know too ..
it feels that everything just not right, just not fit in every single little things - frustated? i dont even know what that's mean.
woke up in the morning, find out my skin become like an orange - wrinkle and full of red dots. It's not a dengie, its not a disease - its just a reaction of what i felt these few days.
still dont understand why -
i should be happy, having a good bf, still have a place to stay, still live properly - but i know there's something inside me is not happy. Something is not right. And stupidly, i dont know what it is.

my bf scoulding me for behaving like this, he's not comforting me- like i want him to be. Maybe its wrong what i want, but i dont care right now. Everything just messed up for me!
for him, i'm just a person who always bring problem to him - that's always what he thinks about me.
i dont care right now, really dont care - even that really hurts .. after all this long, this is what he always think about me!

thought he would ynderstand me, talk to me and supporting me, but guess its not what happen. Instead he's turning everything against me n think i'm just another liar..

Straight Ahead

started when i reach my step to vietnam land - there's so much things huddling around inside my mind and my heart.

remembering what i've been told before - need to keep shut off for few things.

it such too much things going around / but need to be in the straight way / big picture ahead and dont care small stuff surrounding ...

Expression'S

yeah, this is only for many expression of my bf-

enjoy ...

while day bed on long sofa, and while dreaming, and while crazy..