why? how come?

how come our feelings can mixed up like this?

by the time, you're in love with someone- and on the same time, you hate for what he has done to you , but still you miss that person ...

don't they said love isn't hurt?
don't they said love don't give tears?

then, why?

"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."

Grow Up, my love!

bingung mo nulis apa '... hati galau, pikiran keikut kacau .. ga bisa mikir, padahal kudu ngantor n kerja .. berasa kerja paksa gara2 pikiran di antah berantah..

bisa2nya cowo aku, orang yang paling aku sayang dan paling aku 'beratin' di idup ini - semena2 ke aku ...
dikasi masukan, kritikan yang membangun kenapa engga bisa membuka diri untuk 'listening and learning' ... bukannya lebih baik dikritik pacar supaya bisa menjadi lebih baik, ketimbang dikritik orang yang sama sekali kamu engga kenal? .. itu bakalan menyakitkan, menurutku -

belum lagi klo ditambah kena pengaruh temen yang buruk (heran juga, kenapa masih aja dijadiin temen klo dah tau itu bawa 'pengaruh buruk') ..
makin ga jelas sikapnya-

seharusnya dia dateng dan stay close with me .. udah jelas2 waktu barengan sedikit tapi masih aja dicampur ama temen 'buruk' nya.
bener2 ga pengertian, ga perhatian, ga ada 'rasa sayang' kah di dirimu?
kamu minta orang sekitarmu termasuk aku untuk peka ama perasaanmu, tapi apakah kamu pernah mencoba untuk peka ke sekeliling kamu? ..
kamu minta orang sekitarmu bisa ngeliat betapa pentingnya kamu untuk mereka, tapi apakah kamu pernah bersikap sebaliknya? ..

tolong, sadarlah - jadilah dewasa ..
aku membutuhkanmu seperti semula, as a grown up man!

Too Busy with Your Ego!

Here I will tell you my stories- stories of me & my love ..
(life always up and down, so you will not know what's gonna happen next)
and I'll tell you something not in order .. 'cause things messed up sometimes, in my life, in your life, everybody's life.

It was started in good ways, we talked, we laughed, telling each other what's going around our world - since we're "long distance" .. not that long, which you can reach within 45 minutes flights, though.

Just like at the peak, where things get crowded and out loud - he change into some form, which I hardly understand.
Normal things turns out to be freak out!

Non-sense words out from his mouth, which I hate most.
please, don't start the fight .. but it happens...
I tried to talk calm and giving 'right direction' .. but seems only 1 brain doing it's talk, so the others simply ignored it.

Not even a single words, and worse 'til it gets the next day.
not a single call coming from him ...

so, who now always saying "solve things before sunrise"?? .. and yet, he didn't do it-
all efforts seems hopeless - for he doesn't care to listen & open his mind. Keeping his ego, in front of his face...

Sigh...

...getting knock the head...

'been a while gone from the seen to unseen world...

now it's about time I knock the space-
getting my stuff prepared ..
speed the motor ..
flash the light ..

and ..

Here I Am!

hatiku sakit ...

aku post out kebohongan mungkin bisa memberikan kebaikan di suatu akhir, yang tak pasti ...
, entah kenapa, seharusnya aku mati rasa , tapi , aku masih saja menitikkan air mata .. entah ..

kata kata menyakitkan , tingkah laku ponggah , sifat tak bisa menerima semua ini .. aku kacau ..

semua dibalik senyum ramah, wajah penuh tawa, suasana bahagia .. aku menangis , aku terpuruk , aku kehilangan arah ..

Oh, my Choky!

Gosh, never knew I would have this 'great' dream.
Sorry guys, i have to tell this in my 'own' language. It makes it easier for me.

U know that I admired Choky Sitohang so much. His posture, his personal appeal, his smile, his voice, everything about him. And last nite, I dream of him.

Background: I was in some sort of private school. Lots of students even small kids. I happened to be one of the senior, really senior in there- amongs other senior, of course. And I was appointed to be one of the leader during kids break time and I suggest for a cute dance.
Anyway, result is great! People loves it. People cheered me.
And time to go back. School finish. Job done.

On my way back, a Jeep come by to pick me up. Reflex, I get in & sit next to the driver. And guys!!! it's Choky, next to me! He's my BF?!!!!

It was so cool! I start my search inside the car, as it was my hobby (i haven't really notice it 'til I got this dream).
I finished my cellphone battery, so I look for a charger. He asked me to look under his seat, where he used to keep all things over there. So, I look for it.

Hmm... he just wearing short! And I touch his laps with my nose! He's white & smooth! ...(keep dreaming, girls)
Well, I found it- I charge it.

Rumors said that you used to get 'wet' on top of your 'batik' t-shirt, while doing it on your Persian cushions, I asked. Is it true? And how many of that Persian cushion, you had? (cause I never had one- I'm curious, so I asked)
He put on his cute smile and said " I got 12 of them .... and You'll see..."
OMG!

and once get home, you what girls? ..OMG!!
He wears his 'batik' T-shirt and starting getting 'wet' on his Persian cushion~ he's washing them with hand, not with his washing machine.
Poor Choky!

Desainer from Taiwan

Confronted with an ever-growing pile of old newspapers, Taiwanese fashion designer Colin Lin came up with the idea of using them to make shoes and tote bags for her environmentally friendly footwear company.
Both the shoes and tote bags are very much in line with Lin's environmentally friendly approach to business — an approach that in recent years has led her to use fish skin and raffia as replacements for leather.

"My concern is for comfort, fashion and the environment," she said.

Lin's shoes and tote bags stand out in a crowd because they are replete with the telltale Chinese characters that are printed in Taiwanese newspapers and the colorful photos and advertisements that accompany them.

Both of the items go through a time consuming manufacturing process and neither comes cheap. A pair of paper shoes takes 3-4 hours to make and sells for $100-150, while a tote bag takes as much as 2-3 days and can go for up to $260.

"You can't imagine how many chemicals are used in each process of regular shoemaking," said Lin. "And I try to do away with them as much as possible."

Asta

It's been quite sometimes- gone from the crowded of the world!

But here I am, with Asta as my new business set up. To make it happen, to fill it with more and more ideas- first just a trial and then it become more fun, more creative and more and more ...

You out there, don't miss it- Add it to your site and join me.

Dinner at Hulhumale Hotel (only place to enjoy real food)

Hmm... temptating look isn't it?
this is sort of complimentary or something like tat- too little, but it's free also. He3x...
fresh shrimp boiled & served with cream sauce (can't determine which one is it)
but for sure, make your mouth watery-
can't wait for the next dish~

ups- i suppose to tell you about the starter i got.
so yummy 'til once get into my spot & it's gone.
it was scallops! great!
so here i left you the plate, only-



above is my bf's main course- fried noodles in singapore style, if not mistaken-
anyway, it's good taste- & the quantity is perfect for me. But too bad, it's not my dish- even i got chance to pick little.

wait 'til you see what i had for my dish that nite.

here comes my dinner set?! hi3x.. yup- it's a lot! really a lot!
i couldn't finish them all, as always- good that my bf is there to help me finish them. Hi3x.. no wonder his tummy is all comes from my dishes, left over dishes- ha3x..

as you can see, i ordered eel with rice & complete with other's too-
the eel is kinda not right- as i used to eat before, not in same place anyway. This one is not to melt well- well, if you know what i mean with 'melt' in fish issue.

others, like those tempura are okay- with the sauce as well.
anyway, i always love tempura- especially vegie's part- yummy.
the soup is always good-

sushi? raw fish? hmm... yummy- they taste fresh & the shrimps are sweet! excellent

o yah, you got to try those squid & jelly fish- they taste good. yummy-