well, so as you know ...

ketika ku lihat kau bersama dia
tak ada penyesalan dalam hidupku
dan apa yang ku rasakan saat ini
seperti dahulu ku tak mengenalmu

ketika ku lihat kau bersama dia
tak ada lagi hasrat dalam hidupku
kepada dirimu yang dulu tercinta
tak ada lagi kenangan, takkan lagi harapan

everybody knew you’re a liar
everybody knew you’re a player
everybody knew you’re never serious
risk your love at me
and i tell you once again baby

everybody knew you’re a liar
everybody knew you’re a player
everybody knew you’re never serious
risk your love at me

Berbeda / Different

Indonesian version.

mungkin bagimu ku slalu salah
di hadapmu ku tak pernah benar
ku tak bisa menjadi pendamai di dalam jiwamu

ku lelah hadapi semua
ku ingin kau mengerti

kini ku sadar cinta tak bisa
di jalani dengan perbedaan
ku akui ku masih mencintamu dan inginkanmu
kan ku coba jalani hidup tanpamu
di atas pedih yang akan kurasakan
kan kulintasi hidup tanpa dirimu
ku akan pergi menjauh
karna kita memang berbeda

ku lelah hadapi semua
ku ingin kau mengerti
ku tau kita tak mungkin menyatu
ku mau kau mengerti

English version.

for you, i never true, never right
I can not be a peacemaker in your soul

I tired to face it all
I want you to understand

now, I realize love can not live with differences
I admit I still want you, still love you
I'll try to live without you
above all pain I feel
to not live without you
I will go away
because we are different

I tired to face all
I want you to understand
I know we can not together
I want you to understand

Easter Celebration!

That night, for the first time I'm attending Easter celebrations at the church.
It was so much more then I've expected - it was much, much merrier than my usual church. They played the bells and music in different tunes- different songs and different spirits! (almost break down n cried, for His Mighty shown me a lot)
.. still at that time, I miss being around in Christian church-

It was my baptized moment. Night of the night, where I've been shown so many 'signs'..
You might think that it's just a 'bluff' .. but for what i experienced- yes, God is here, God is listening to my pray and He helped me out.
Thank you, God~

They said being baptized means that you re.gain your life, new life.
I do wish and I do feel that way -
past will be my past, and I'm sure that He won't leave me- as I used to 'leave Him so often.

Many times, I 'denied His presence, His help - feels that I haven't been guide good enough and not being 'gifted for what I asked.
Now, He showed me all - what I've asked was not right, was not good for me.
and now, in this Easter - i will need to re.gain everything back - from scratch .. and re.start everything with good's one.

Easter Spirit

On Easter Sunday, Christians celebrate the resurrection of the Lord, Jesus Christ.
It is typically the most well-attended Sunday service of the year for Christian churches.

Christians believe, according to Scripture, that Jesus came back to life, or was raised from the dead, three days after his death on the cross. As part of the Easter season, the death of Jesus Christ by crucifixion is commemorated on Good Friday, always the Friday just before Easter. Through his death, burial, and resurrection, Jesus paid the penalty for sin, thus purchasing for all who believe in him, eternal life in Christ Jesus.

So, what's your plan on this Easter Celebration?
Having recognition what you've done during this year?
Having re.coup with the whole family and your love ones?
Having Easter Bunny celebration with kids?

Share your ideas with me!

(while me? .. i'm hoping for happy ending for rest of my life)

why? how come?

how come our feelings can mixed up like this?

by the time, you're in love with someone- and on the same time, you hate for what he has done to you , but still you miss that person ...

don't they said love isn't hurt?
don't they said love don't give tears?

then, why?

"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."

Grow Up, my love!

bingung mo nulis apa '... hati galau, pikiran keikut kacau .. ga bisa mikir, padahal kudu ngantor n kerja .. berasa kerja paksa gara2 pikiran di antah berantah..

bisa2nya cowo aku, orang yang paling aku sayang dan paling aku 'beratin' di idup ini - semena2 ke aku ...
dikasi masukan, kritikan yang membangun kenapa engga bisa membuka diri untuk 'listening and learning' ... bukannya lebih baik dikritik pacar supaya bisa menjadi lebih baik, ketimbang dikritik orang yang sama sekali kamu engga kenal? .. itu bakalan menyakitkan, menurutku -

belum lagi klo ditambah kena pengaruh temen yang buruk (heran juga, kenapa masih aja dijadiin temen klo dah tau itu bawa 'pengaruh buruk') ..
makin ga jelas sikapnya-

seharusnya dia dateng dan stay close with me .. udah jelas2 waktu barengan sedikit tapi masih aja dicampur ama temen 'buruk' nya.
bener2 ga pengertian, ga perhatian, ga ada 'rasa sayang' kah di dirimu?
kamu minta orang sekitarmu termasuk aku untuk peka ama perasaanmu, tapi apakah kamu pernah mencoba untuk peka ke sekeliling kamu? ..
kamu minta orang sekitarmu bisa ngeliat betapa pentingnya kamu untuk mereka, tapi apakah kamu pernah bersikap sebaliknya? ..

tolong, sadarlah - jadilah dewasa ..
aku membutuhkanmu seperti semula, as a grown up man!

Too Busy with Your Ego!

Here I will tell you my stories- stories of me & my love ..
(life always up and down, so you will not know what's gonna happen next)
and I'll tell you something not in order .. 'cause things messed up sometimes, in my life, in your life, everybody's life.

It was started in good ways, we talked, we laughed, telling each other what's going around our world - since we're "long distance" .. not that long, which you can reach within 45 minutes flights, though.

Just like at the peak, where things get crowded and out loud - he change into some form, which I hardly understand.
Normal things turns out to be freak out!

Non-sense words out from his mouth, which I hate most.
please, don't start the fight .. but it happens...
I tried to talk calm and giving 'right direction' .. but seems only 1 brain doing it's talk, so the others simply ignored it.

Not even a single words, and worse 'til it gets the next day.
not a single call coming from him ...

so, who now always saying "solve things before sunrise"?? .. and yet, he didn't do it-
all efforts seems hopeless - for he doesn't care to listen & open his mind. Keeping his ego, in front of his face...

Sigh...

...getting knock the head...

'been a while gone from the seen to unseen world...

now it's about time I knock the space-
getting my stuff prepared ..
speed the motor ..
flash the light ..

and ..

Here I Am!

hatiku sakit ...

aku post out kebohongan mungkin bisa memberikan kebaikan di suatu akhir, yang tak pasti ...
, entah kenapa, seharusnya aku mati rasa , tapi , aku masih saja menitikkan air mata .. entah ..

kata kata menyakitkan , tingkah laku ponggah , sifat tak bisa menerima semua ini .. aku kacau ..

semua dibalik senyum ramah, wajah penuh tawa, suasana bahagia .. aku menangis , aku terpuruk , aku kehilangan arah ..