*spirit! ... *spirit! ..**

it's been a while -
i've been spending my last week, finding something to keep me busy ...
watching tv, reading novel, compose files, making summary of quote, pushing people to get things done a.s.a.p ... whuahhahaha...

it's just that i wanted to be back soon, so that's why i keep myself with rushing all things to be done in order- and i need to pass this 2 weeks with something to keep me alert.

i'm having really bad dream last night, and it does annoyed me for the whole next day- i can't get rid of those -what happening in my dream- from my mind ..sick of it!
once u made decision, u need to stick on it - that's only my thinking for now ...

realize that i havent been working as hard as i thought - too much play around, so now is the time to get back .. focus on the purpose, and get things done right - spirit! spirit!
also not forget to mention, its for us also, my love - sorry for being so ignorance ...

a kiss

do u know how the magic does coming from someone you love?
even when he just send u an sms, or just a kiss on the forehead?

kiss on forehead more sweeter than the lips - wel, in some case that will refer to other things - which is good,too ... wait, i'm not talking about it!

i miss my bf so much - i miss u so much, baby

his voice ...

today i start with my small snack in the morning .. even i feel i wanna vomit when i taste .. hmm, sort of like goin on pregnant, where every food seems force u to vomit. ..
but i kept forcing myself to do this - my bf gives me support and i got to do this, so i can fight and not give up ..

i gave him a call in the morning ... he was still in his sleep- sorry, baby ...
hearing his voice, gives me emotional support ... to start the day ..

Stress Out ..

has anyone wondering what is 'stress' about? how do u recognize u got 'stress' ?

well, i'm not sure how to explain this to you - but let me tell you how i feel until my boyfriend told me it's stress!

it's just happened like this: u got something in ur mind, which really affects to your feeling- and u couldnt stop thinking of it, cause it' s really inside you, it's about ur life ..
i dont feel hungry, i dont feel concentrate on doing work, and when i walk around, something is missing inside my feeling, inside my life ... so, i'm totally dont know what to do ..

i feel sleppy when bed time comes, but i couldn't sleep. My mind still wondering around, thinking about same problem .. it will only gone when the problem is solve (now, i can see how my bf can't sleep well, thinking of his work for tomorrow ..)
amazingly, morning time.. i always wake up more early than i suppose to .. and by the time, i woke up, my mind back to the same thinking again, and again...

the whole day will be like death person walking .. cause u feel numb, keep thinking the issue - want it to be solve, but it needs time .. and i dont know what should do ..

my boyfriend nicely suggest me to keep eating/ snacking while i'm still on "my stress" ..
i guess, he's also in same phase - but he's more good in handling it ..

some friends told me to release my feeling, with anything i used to do - i used to cry and share feeling with my best friends .. well, it does help but it doesnt solve.

well, do u have the same ? better be care with this one ..

honey, i love you-

additional info:
bfore i always say that i'm fatter cause i'm stress .. seems it wasn't, so what was that all about?

Don't Give Up!!

life was never easy to everyone .. but i refuse to give up - so do u.
never give up, always give the best try - if u think & feel it's worthed to do.
now, i'm fighting for my choice and i do this because it's worthed for me to do ... many reason behind, many scene has been happening & i realize that this is worthed for me to go on ..

all i can do now, is not giving up all this - keept trying my best ..
wish me luck!

Eye & Tears ...

loud cried .. heart relieved, cried more louder ..
silent cried .. heart breaking, pain inside heart leave scars ...
happy cried .. hear bumping for every single moment to cherish

what are we looking for?

these moments of coming back was full of sadness, not gloryness - heart breaking, tears ..were more than ever ... dissapointment, disagreement, sadness, loosing control was all about it-

how can world change so drastically?

it was the world, i've been waiting for so long - and it was just different ...

should it take time to get use to it? or it's just a phase that should be passing by?

none could decide which is right and which is wrong, everything happen so fast -

when we see on the brigther side, would there be brighter side? .. there will be.

every single creature being make with bright side for them - we will have, as long as we try.

now all i can do, is try harder & work it harder - for me to see the bright side of mine ...

will you all supporting each effort i'll make? single thing i'll try to save my dream? your dream? our dream?

wouldn't it be all for us to give it best shoot, best try - to live in this world? would this be our purpose to live in this world?....

where does this feeling come from?

it was sunday afternoon, when all human beings enjoyed their free time with grouping inside the cafe, sipping their coffee and chips ..

there was a father, mother and small cute little girl seating in front of where i have my lunch- during my work time, on sunday. They're chattering, laughing together-

i miss those moment. i want those moment.

where does this feeling comes? how can i have this feeling?

A Month Anniversary

1st anniversary for all these puppies ... look at them, so cute aren't they? wearing all their stripy new clothes .. gift from their fans, too.

take a look at the cake - it was decorate with miniatur of their mother - white fur & black eyes, and bit of "gengsi" style as always ..

hard to get them in line, they're chasing each other, and tried to grab the food, in front of them .. so funny -they start to eat meat already, so once they smell it- they starve!!

here is the prince- wearing blue stripes, opposite is princess - wearing her new skirt.
she got all attention her needs, including under her skirt-
whuahahaha.....

come on, puppies- that's rude...

not to forget the olders- left of oreo (grandmother --> grand,grandmother) & snoopy (the dad) ..

took this picture before he's trying to bite my feet. this one is snoppy - he doesn't like to get published ..

anyway, he's kinda the fierce one, even it's just on the outside.

they got the chance to eat the anniversary cake, too

double portion!

Her/Him/She/His

smile-cry ... angry / cry-smile ... dissapointed smile / smile-laugh ... curiousity, accused / quite-smile ... sad smile, heart hurting / no sound-no response ... unresponsive, hate feeling / share feeling-cry ... weakness / action-laugh ... agresive, mistake made / wink-smug ... stubborn, show off / raise eyebrow ... worried, accused, dissapointed smile / drolling ... un-appreciated, heart breaking / wits end come up ... un-patient, un-logical, un-rational /